Bubbas is 5

Forgive me for this very delayed tribute to my sweet Bubbas!

My sweet and sensitive third born has turned five and what a ride this past year has been!  He is full of life and full of wonder.  He is a kid of paradoxes...strong willed and easy going, agressive and compassionate, cooperative and defiant, all at the same time.  It is a joy to be mom to this child, and see the world the way he experiences it.

Being the third child in four years, Bubbas came into a world of chaos and lots of activity, and yet when he joined our family he was unshaken by it all.  He was after all, our zen baby.  Little did I know that his zen would be a whole lot more active at the age of four.  He is a kinetic child and a deep thinker which in combination ensures that there is a lot of *adventure* throughout our days together.  And I wouldn't miss the adventure for anything.

Bubbas loves to cuddle and is so super affectionate.  I just cherish when he climbs up in my lap and places his little hand over my heart.  That experience has been of ritual of ours since he was about 3 days old, and I am so delighted that he still seeks out our special sacred ritual on a daily basis.  It is our reset with one another.  We are both hot tempered, so boundary testing is often a bit dicey, as I have to remind myself constantly that I have to be more mature than he is when there is conflict.  I practice a mantra that goes something like this: "Boundary pushing is a development imperative... this is a sign of character growth."  (Most of the time I think the opportunity for character development is more for me than for him though.)

Because Bubbas and I have similar quick tempers the testing years can be really hard on the mother- child bond, but we have this hardwired space of connection to return to time and again and I am so grateful that Bubbas led the way during those first days of his life five years ago.  And in the past several weeks I have been excitedly ushering in this birthday, as I've seen some glimpses of the shift.  I love five years olds, pretty much universally, but I especially love my children at age five.  Bubbas is awesome at five!!!

He loves to make things, from lego creations to inventions using all sorts of household items.  He loves to ride his bike and to play with his siblings and friends.  Bubbas is stoking the sweetest little preschool romance and I have to say, he chose the sweetest little girl in his class to adore.  She is a perfect match for him as she takes no "nothing" from him.  Many of his days revolve around imaginative play and he is constantly play acting with his friends on the playground!

Bubbas, I love you so.  It is such an honor to be your mother.  I have been so blessed to be able to watch your boyhood evolve and I cannot wait to watch every minute of your path into manhood... just please walk your path as slowly as possible, I want to savor every day.  I already know you had an incredible birthday and it was a joy to show you how much we all love you!

My Boo is 9...

I wrote this yesterday... but with all of the celebrating... this blog post never made it live:

I cannot believe my sweet boy turns 9 today.  The time has just flown by!  I am one lucky mom to have him for a first son!  Boo has an amazing perspective on life.  He is full of wonder, committed to learning, excited about his future and kind natured.  This has been a great year of growth for him too.  Here are some highlights for this past yeare:

* He has continued to work hard in karate and now holds a Blue with Green Stripe Belt.
* Boo loves to ride his bike abd to explore the world with his cousins and friends.
* He loves school, loves science, and loves to read!
* Video games are still his favorite hobby and I am so proud of him because he has been saving his allowance for months so he can purchase a 3 DS.  I am quite certain with the help he received from Santa this year and some birthday presents from loved ones he will be achieving his goal today!
* Boo started playing the trumpet this year and loves band.

Most of all Boo has grown as a human being.  He is more compassionate, has developed more integrity, and deepened his understanding of a living God.  I so love this kid!  Happy Birthday Boo!

Self Care

It did not take long for me to become emotionally and physically depleted as a way of life once I began my mothering journey.  The early years of caring for small children is depleting by definition, so I found  my self care habits made or broke my ability to be the kind of mom my kids need and deserve.  Once I had that third child, I needed more time away...while at the same time I had a whole lot less time in general because my older children had begun school and activities.  Finding a good balance has been tricky, but I am happy to say, I finally have some balance.

Now that my kids are all old enough, I go out of town about 4 weekends a year to get my creative juices flowing.  I've done scrapbooking retreats, spiritual conventions, and a couple of photo weekends.  This past December I had a wonderful weekend away, just before Christmas and it was amazing!  My sil... really a sister by another mother, is an awesome partner in crime when it comes to these sorts of weekends away!  We had tickets to see Tori Amos in concert, so we made a weekend of it.  We stayed at the beautiful Biltmore Hotel, walked the streets of LA doing street photography and went to MOCA.  By the end of the weekend, I was overflowing with creativity.  It has been a long, long time since I have felt an abundance of creative energy, so I am grateful for the inspiration, good times, and plain old simple rest.

Happy Birthday my sweet girl

Another year has past and my sweet girl turns 7 today.  Sometimes it feels like just yesterday she was put in my arms and sometimes it feels like forever.  Time is like that with little ones... sometimes it seems to stand still when you'd like it to pass more quickly and then when you would like time to stand still so you can savor it just a bit, it slips by too fast.  So enough of me waxing on like the sappy mom I am... on to my sweet girl:

Baby J is this incredible energy in this world.  Most of the time her energy is used for good, she is kind, nurturing, extremely intelligent, and intuitive too.  She loves math, reading, dancing, bike riding and playing with her American girl dolls.  This year she is starting to fix her eye on the art of performance... she wants to be on stage, so I can imagine she is going to go the road of a thespian.

This is one independent and tenacious child.  Qualities so strong that she will do well in this world... yet parenting her through the rough patches is quite a ride.  She has a gracious heart and a desire to do what is right, so the discipline road has been as helpful to me as it has been for her.  Funny how that works.  

I just love this little girl.  She is amazing and every year I say this, but it's worth saying it over and over again.  I am so grateful I get to be the one with the front row center view of this girl's journey through childhood.  She helps me love deeper, resolve more firmly, be the type of woman I would love her to be someday.  She is my creative partner so much of the time always at my side in the studio and she has a good eye... the crafting bug has been passed down another generation in my mother's, mother's, mother's legacy.  Love that!  Happy Birthday sweet Big Girl J!

Christmas Joy

I didn't mean to do this but it captured my sweet girls face the moment her Christmas dream was realized.  Santa magic is still in full effect in our household and I so love that.  And for the record... the three days it took to put that d*** playmobile schoolhouse together, was so worth it in this one moment of a lifetime!

Birthright

...It was taken from me 

I won’t it let be taken from you

Voice is your birthright 

I have mine back

So I won’t usurp yours

Squeal with delight

Cry out in anguish

Sigh with limitation

Raise up with complaint

You will not meet deaf ear

For I am attuned to your presence sweet one...

I wrote this a bit ago... but today I might need to practice this as mantra.  I obviously did not write this when any of my kids were 4.  It is so hard to be 4...old enough to verbally express the range of emotion you feel without the maturity to have as much self control as the world is asking of you.  That's what I am here for... to help them through big emotions...but it would be really helpful for me to practice a greater level of self control than he does.  And that is where grace steps in and boy am I grateful, because 4 year olds can test every last nerve of mine.

Happy Birthday Cousin B... we love you!

There is nothing better than a bouncy slide for a 8 year old's birthday party!  Look at that smile!

 Nothing but pure joy...

Auntie (not me, I'm officially a 2nd cousin) made this awesome cake... He loved it!

And the hit of the day... lots of gifts, yes... but especially this card.  Who knew?  I know... the person who picked it out!