Monday, April 14, 2014

Transcendance Movement Four- Threshold

encounter- hope embraced

walking beyond the threshold of consciousness
into the world of inner longing
feeling your hand gently guiding me
deeper into myself where the goodness lives

breath released finally truth I can know
there is a piece of you within me
peace releases my heart from chains of doing
allowing spirit to rise into being beloved creation

the past falls away the future stands still
in the presence of your protection I linger
safely I open my deepest wounds 
your love washes through my heart

the wounds are residue of lies held so long
I hold them tight paralyzed with fear
believing without them I would be nothing
and bad felt safer than the void of existence

the lies shriek throughout our connection
we weep together as we bend ear to hear the noise
even the moment stands still as we grieve what I’ve lost-
the confidence of possibility wrapped in innocence

knowing the moment is soon to pass
you whisper a new melody to replace the dissonance
breathing life into a weary soul
healing years of wounds with your empathy

back over the threshold of consciousness
into the world of the now
your spirit ushers me into life with new hope

where I can share the goodness revealed 

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Unexpected Hiatus

My soul has been in hibernation these past few months and it was provoked by an injury that had my body down for the count for a few weeks.  I’m used to spinning a lot of plates all at once with 3 kids, volunteer activities, and a little ole business to keep up with and I love my life.  I enjoy moving at an efficient pace but to keep such a pace one has to stay healthy...anything goes too far out of balance and the whole game changes.  That was this past winter for me, and I am grateful for the lessons that have turned into the gift of wisdom:

1.  Our bodies are made wonderfully complex- self regulating and healing, delicate and strong all at once...and finite.  We need balance, rest, activity, sleep, nutrition, care and when we don’t get what we need, our body will stop us in our tracks.  My broken foot was a warning light of some more complicated health issues that I am grateful are being addressed before my body spun out of control.  I am now on the road to recovery, grace be.

2.  About 1/3 of my To Do list is unnecessary and really just there as a way to feel in control and productive.  I have enough organic stressors to manage, I don’t need to create more work to feel better about myself.  When I’m being good to me, everything has a way of working out.  And an added benefit: excess baggage disappears because relationship and time barnacles naturally fall away.  This has been one of the biggest benefits for me.  I’m really clear on what is most important for my well being.

3.  It is a joy to get a 3 month break from 8+ loads of laundry a week and big household shopping trips.  Totally worth the price of walking in an air boot for almost 10 weeks and counting.  Just saying.

Sometimes an injury or illness is a metaphor for a deeper soul dynamic, as is the case for me.  This injury has allowed me the space to do some deep soul healing and I know that just as my bone will be stronger at the site of the fracture when healed; my heart will be stronger for the grieving I have been able to walk through in this season.  

So I cannot recap the everyday of the past weeks, but I can share some pictures for now because most definitely life was being lived even in hibernation and that’s where the good stuff is.  Enjoy!

Our Special Friend...
Meeting our sweet little friend for the first time.  We are all so smitten!

Sweet J made a big step in her faith and decided to be baptized.  It was wonderful to stand with her on her special day!
Our sweet was was awesome!

So filled with joy....

 Boo's science fair project was fun for the whole family!
playing softball with the a boot no less.
The things we do for science!

Teaching a proper batting stance

Bubba's turn

This kid is a natural!

Solid swing my girl!  Boo in the background
compiling data for his science project.

The husband can make consistent contact.
I've been married to this man for 15 years and had no idea.

And some crafting to compliment all of our family events:

Baptism gift

The backside of water...aka baby blanket in progress.

party favors

And finally, the Old South Church in Boston hosted a scarf project where crafters around the world could create scarves to wrap runners in love on this first anniversary of the bombings.  
I was lucky to participate with many other crafters out there.

Being off my foot gave me the time to wrap some runners in love...

Here is a clip of how this Scarf Project began...

Saturday, March 15, 2014

The highlight of my week...

The whole storyline of Sheldon and his mom is cultural brilliance.  I love the way this show handles the issues of morality and religion especially in regards to the way these dynamics impact scientific progress.  The best line come near the end of the episode...

Sheldon: "Well this is confusing for me, but I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness.  So I'll condemn you internally, while maintaining an outward appearance of acceptance."

Shelly's Mom: "That is very christian of you."

Brillant cultural commentary!  Comedy gold, I say.

Watch the whole episode, it won't disappoint.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Transcendance Movement Four- Peace by Peace

encounter- hope embraced

Peace by Peace
life be real
pain can reside
suffering revealed true
if light can flood my soul

wash over me in crimson glory
bring hope and restoration
carry my broken body home
help me live faith in your grace

life known real
painful memories anew, subside
suffering pushes into joyful reunion

light  floods my soul with belief

Sunday, March 2, 2014

My Sweet Bubbas

Happy 7th Birthday Bubbas...

I love you my sweet son...

You are an incredible boy.  Full of life, full of this amazing energy that is such a joy to be around!

You are fun loving and a tad mischievous...which I must admit I love!  Never a dull moment parenting you!

You are passionate and such a justice kid.  You will speak up when you see something amiss and you are learning so much about using words to solve disagreements.  You are growing into quite the diplomat these days.

You love legos, swimming, soccer, and music.  You love to build thing and always have a plan that you're dreaming up ways to execute.

You are my snuggle bunny and love to cuddle with still hold your hand to my heart during cuddles.  Every year I add this into my love note to you because it is such a blessing!  I am so grateful that after seven years on this planet you still come to mama for cuddle time every day!

You are super smart and are officially reading...even though you sometimes doubt you are.  You are always listening and always observing.  You love to learn and you love school.

I love you for the amazing boy you are.  Six was a huge growth year for you and I am so proud to see the choices you are making in your young life!  It is so fun to parent you!!!  Happy Birthday my dear son!

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Pushing Onward...

If the mainline church worked the way my childlike faith knows it can...

Seminary education for leaders around the world would be subsidized by the offering of the people and the only requirement would be a certain amount of years in service within church leadership after schooling is completed.

Future pastors would be required to participate in didactic therapeutic experiences alongside their theology training and spiritual formation experiences.  And a part of continuing education would include ongoing therapeutic processes for all clergy.

We would surround our clergy with respect, open communication, and a cooperative spirit...even when we disagree.  We would remember these amazingly gifted people, have feelings, real life to deal with, in-laws, marriages, children, illness, bills and everything else that accompanies being an adult in our culture.  I am amazed at the brashness of treatment I have witnessed (and sadly sometimes participated in) congregations direct towards pastors.  It’s plain mean spirited.

Funding allocated to the larger church structures (districts, conferences, jurisdictions in the denomination my church is affiliated with) would be used primarily for a clergy leader, necessary managerial staff, a lawyer, and a human resources person.  Employee compensation, reviews, and hiring/letting go of employees should not rest on a volunteer leader within each congregation alone.  Churches should have professional advice available to them at all times.  Period.  And they should be held to the same legal standards companies in the secular job market are.

If we were able to make these things happen, our churches would be healthier communities, and in turn our impact with the world might be more effective.  

And now I lay down my ax...I’m not fueled with righteous indignation anymore.  Now I see a clear path to begin walking down.  We can make these changes within the church.  One step at a time.  

Monday, February 24, 2014

Transcendance Movement Four- Occasion

encounter- hope embraced

Aside the living well my faith began.
I drank from it daily
and was filled with new life.

Deep within I knew it was but for a time.
I began to hear the quiet whisper of dark night call
so my heart was soon led deep into a desert.

The sand came up around my neck. 
Feeling abandoned I thought I might rather death
yet in that time I felt your hand extend.

You held me in my brokenness.
I felt your healing pass through my wounds
as you led me again to the well of living water.

…a place I now understood to be meant for occasion of time

in order to preserve faith and quench my deepest desires.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Celebrating Valentine's Day in the Real World

We usually have some fun traditions around Valentine's Day for the kids, but honestly dh and I have mostly struggled with this holiday.  We are so not the flowers and chocolates sort of people though through our 20's (maybe into our 30's) we believed we "should" be these sorts of romantics since we are "passionate" people.  Then our marriage exploded and we got more honest with ourselves and each other.  I like being on this side of our marriage explosion because this was the first year I could stomach this holiday.  This year's holiday was quirky and random... I like quirky and random, it fits us better.  Let me share...

Oh there were three gifts on a table that were purchased at 8:45 the night before...but there was nothing cute, nothing thought out.  The kids were just as happy this year as last...which is kind of humbling for a crazy momma that does this every year...

The banner did go up but there is no picture so I'll just use last year's...

Dh skillfully and tentatively approached me about a week before the holiday and we really want to do anything for Valentine's.  Can we just agree not to do any cards, or flowers, or anything like that...I'm happy to do Messy Church that night and then binge watch House of Cards all weekend.  He had me at hello.  


All of this transpired because of this little detail...

So that is what we did to celebrate Valentine's Day 2014...
The End.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Reflections Part 2

Last fall Boo wrote this essay for his school...

and today...

He was recognized for his creativity...Way to go son!
Edited by Rhonnas Designs App

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Transcendance Movement Four- Onward

encounter- hope embraced


When I look down I lose my way
the cracks in the ground rise up to swallow sight.
I become lulled by the path forgetting my destination;
the home from which I belong is the one I long to someday return.

Send down Your grace to raise my gaze
help me to press on to reach You- divine.
Raise my feet from the earthly path of weeds;

so I can move on towards you- eternity.