Monday, May 14, 2007

Always looking towards the future I am...

...rarely living fully in the present.

I'm in a season of life where what I do is not nearly as important as who I am and who I am doing it with, if that makes any sense. I do not have gainful employment, where I leave my home and report to someone quite important, who in turns gives me a meager salary. I do not have a "job" where my performance gains me money, prestige, or advancement in life.

But I do work. All day, every day. And it is more about how I live, how I relate, how I communicate, how I provide; than it is about what I do with my day. That is very difficult for me. I think that I should have my next plan. Actually I really already know what I'd like to do with the next season, but the time is not now and I need to relax and focus on the task at hand.

Building a better future for me and my family.

While I am here, I'd like to explore a few new things... read some good books, write some good poetry or prose, learn some good craft, listen to some good music, etc. I want to fall in love with living simply. I want to disconnect from the fast track mentality that demands more of my soul than I'd like to give. I want to savor the naptime nursings with my dear sweet toddler, because soon they will be replaced with dance classes and girl scouts. I want to enjoy the unashamed cuddles with my older son, because soon he will beg me to walk ten paces behind him and not to embarrass him with mommy I love you's. I want to enjoy the snuggly baby in my sling, because soon he will be running away from me to explore the world.

I will live in this time. Truly live in every moment. Every day I will seek to do just that...experience life abundantly.

No comments: