Tuesday, May 29, 2007

They're always watching

So I was watching Oprah the other day and they had a life coach on talking about how to raise happy children. It was just one segment in a larger conversation about how to live your best life, but one comment the life coach made really resonated with me. She stated that our children will not learn to treat themselves how we treat them. They will learn to treat themselves the way we treat ourselves. It's just spot on in truth and I really connect with this truth right now, because of what I am processing in my own life and parenthood.

We all have scripts that develop deep within our psyche very early on in our lives and if we are not actively aware of our behavior; we are going to constantly respond to our world, our relationships, and ourselves in the same, familiar ways. So if I cannot find peace in myself and treat myself with the same gentle compassionate way I have grown accustomed to treat my children with...when they grow and leave me to live their lives on their own, they will treat themselves with the same harshness they saw me treat myself with. That scares me to my core. I can work so hard to pour myself into them and they might reject my messages of who I see them as, because I have not put to rest my own demons and self destructive ways.

I have to change the script that I carry around about myself. I just recently came face to face with what that script is and I knew I needed to change that for myself. I am keeping myself stuck in the past because I have not yet grieved that. But now I understand it in full context. I also need to change the script for my sweet babies. They deserve to believe they are the wonderful gifts they actually are. I deserve to believe I am a wonderful gift that I actually am.

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