Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Postpartum Depression

So, just like clockwork, my body shifted four months after Sweet Pea's birth. The first warning came a bit early...rapid hair loss. I had two huge bald spots at my hairline. My awesome cousin gave me a new color and do...which disguised my ailment brilliantly!!!! Thank You Brittany!!!

Then the insomnia hit and the huge desire to eat everything within sight that had refined sugars in it. Which is a huge no no for a woman living with PCOS. Which of course exasperated my mood swings. All that hit just in time for Boo to be out of school for the summer...bad timing. The perfect dynamics for full blown depression.

I've been trudging along for a couple of weeks trying to push through the gray and mental confusion...and then I started having milk supply issues, which led me to evaluate my water intake, my diet, and my vitamin regime... all of which were grossly out of balance. It is really hard to take care of me when I have three kids under 5. It is even harder to take care of me when I am still growing into the understanding that I deserve to be gentle to myself.

So my bff and several of my online mommy friends suggested I look at re-hydrating and cutting out sugars. I immediately tripled my water intake to take care of my low milk supply. Then I realized I needed to be diligent in taking my prenatals daily. And while I was checking my vitamin supply, I saw my bottle of B complex sitting there and everything started clicking in my head. I went to my message board and did some research and found that yes, B deficiency can totally be behind my symptoms of depression. So I started taking them last week and I immediately felt better. Like that first day I took them. And that was a *bad* day in our household. Screaming kids, poop explosions times two...you know the drill. But I still felt better.

Last night I was thinking about when I started taking the B complex. I started them at the suggestion of my chiropractor because I was having some circulation problems after Baby J was born. I thought it was because I co-slept and wore the sling all of the time...but even after adjustments I was still having difficulty. That clued my chiro into the deficiency and so I started taking the supplement. The timing of me taking them was the same timing of me starting to come out of the depression. Now I see that there was no coincidence in that at all. They are linked.

I am so thankful for the collective wisdom of the women of my favorite message board GCM and I am grateful for friends that have traveled through these really confusion years of motherhood with me. It's good to have someone to stand in the gap with me when I am completely overwhelmed!

I love how are bodies are so wonderfully made. When things are in balance, my body has an amazing capacity to heal itself. Depression can be a symptom of emotional neglect or it can be a symptom of spiritual deficit, or it can be a symptom of a diet out of balance. I have had all three issues aggravate depression for me at various points in my life. But this time around my spiritual and emotional houses are well maintained. This time it is all about the physical.

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