Monday, December 29, 2008

Kid + Star Wars Toy...

A month of Christmas!
Originally uploaded by poetic mama

= Pure Joy... at least for my Boo!

My Bubbas....

A month of Christmas!
Originally uploaded by poetic mama

He sure can pull an outfit together!

My little Mary

A month of Christmas!
Originally uploaded by poetic mama

Baby J got a kite

A month of Christmas!
Originally uploaded by poetic mama

Santa brought my sweet girl a kite this year... pure joy I tell you!

Cookie Day 2008

A month of Christmas!
Originally uploaded by poetic mama

Another year, another cookie day!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Voice of the Feminine

A couple of weeks ago, I caught a few minutes of Gloria Steinem on Oprah, and though I was really only half watching, something she said really stuck with me. It stuck with me because it resonated with my soul and I have been greatly encouraged by her words. She said something to the effect that the last wave of feminism was trying to communicate that woman can be whatever they wanted to be. Something got lost in translation though. The point was not that women have to be everything, rather they can decide what they were meant to be and do that task with passion. Being super woman is not the ideal. Being able to choose one's own path is the ideal. Or something like that anyway.

So it has me thinking. The most powerful thing I have done in my life is to resign from the job of super woman and super mom. That is not where my power lies. No, my power lies in the truth that I was created equal and I can decide what I want to do with the time I spend here on earth. For too long, I allowed others to define me, to define my goals, to define the boundaries of my strength and power. The season of giving up my power has thankfully passed for me. Or at least it is beginning to pass. Now I understand that I choose how I define myself. I choose the path for me and can do so without apology. I choose to reside in and exercise my birth given right of personal empowerment.

I want to walk towards a simple living that flows out from who I am meant to be. I want to choose to make my work that which is not held in high regard far too often. I am shaping the characters of three amazing children. I am making myself available to the causes that I find important... volunteering in the public school system and in an amazing MOPS group. And yes I did go to college and pursue a degree for just this task.

I want to grow into a woman that doesn't need others to accept that choice, or even to understand it. But I want to learn expect respect from those I share my heart and my time with. Gratefully, I have an amazing support system. I am grateful for the village that has risen up to help me during this crucial time in my evolution. It is a great encouragement to have those who have already travelled that path, and to have others along side me as we travel the path together. I am grateful for the blogging world, the mother messaged boards I am a part of (albeit less frequented these days), and am especially grateful for the womeb I share my heart with in my daily life. My life is filled with simple abundance because of such blessing

Monday, November 24, 2008


The Christmas crafting has officially begun. I will try and show bits and pieces here and there.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

An opportunity to be mindful of Simplicity...

... Or in lay woman's terms, dh got laid off from his "secure" job last week.

I've gone through many emotions, since my husband gave me the news of the lay off...six weeks before Christmas. Fear, sadness, anger, worry, peace that we will be okay, and a oddly familiar excitement that something new is on the horizon for him. I do not earn an income for our family in this season of nurturing wee ones, but I believe my value to my family far outweighs any amount of money I could bring in right now. So I see it as my job to provide us with stability, good stewardship and creative financing... aka keeping our monthly living expenses to a bare minimum, while still making sure that we enjoy the abundance of our resources. So now is my opportunity to think creative about how to live lean in a time of societal economic turmoil and familial uncertainty.

We have worked hard to get out of debt and in the past five years we have gone from completely leveraged with short term and long term debt, to only having a mortgage and one car payment. We are still working on our savings, but we will be able to weather a storm for a bit. That work has already been done. We learned our lesson after the last time of economic turmoil. It was a very tough lesson, but it was so worth it. So now what?

Well, I don't exactly know. But I do know this. Last Thursday when we got the news, I turned to my laundered money stash, that was earmarked for a trip to Greece in 2010, and realized I have squirreled away at least $110-$150 dollars in the last five years. Just in the change from our pockets and any money that has found it's way through our laundary and into our clothes dryer... thus the name of the kitty... *The Laundered Money Stash".

So for this Christmas, it will be business as usual. We have been planning our way towards a smaller and mostly hand made christmas all year, and with what I have already stashed on the gift shelf, and the money I am currently counting out of the The Laundared Money Stash, we will have what we need to have a wonderful and abuntant holiday season.

Returning to a life of simplicity is really paying off for us. I am so grateful for my husband who works hard, and shares my goals for our family. I am grateful that I can rest in the truth that my needs have already been accounted for, and I can feel good that I am walking towards a lifestlye of simplicity, where we always use our resources consciously... in lean times and in feast times.

So in the coming weeks I am sure there will be posts here and there about our journey. I know that there are families everywhere, struggling with these realities, and rather than turn towards despair, I want to have a spirit of adventure.

Monday, November 17, 2008

SoCal Fires

SoCal Fires
Originally uploaded by poetic mama

This was a look at the Carbon Canyon Fire about two hours after it started. I took this picture from Garden Grove which is about 5-10 miles south west of the fire. This is actually shot towards the ocean.

This was a sad weekend for so many people, and my thoughts and prayers are with all who were affected by the fires

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Landscape Art

Oatman Az.
Originally uploaded by poetic mama

I think that I am not loving the idea of landscape photography. In the moment, the process was great fun, but my pictures are not exciting me. I think I need to add something to my process, because every picture feels flat as I am editing.

I know that I am new, and that everything takes time, but I want to be skilled right away. This is not the final verdict for me and landscapes... I'll keep trying, at least for a little while.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Getting Back to My Work

Oatman Az.
Originally uploaded by poetic mama

It is so easy for momma to delay my own dreams and goals. There is always something more pressing... but I don't like the message that sends to the family. I don't want my goals and aspirations to be considered secondary to everyone else's because I am the full time care giver. So I spent time away working on my homework last weekend, and it was truly relaxing. My sil and I shop the same way and take pictures the same way... and was great bonding time for us. It was great fun being me... the me that is not constantly attached, constantly needed, constantly moving.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Monday, November 3, 2008

Halloween Candids

What a wonderful day Halloween was for my Mickey Mouse, Spider Girl, and Obi Wan Kenobi... and for us all. Family, friends, parties, trick or treating. We had a very full day, but it was full of joy and laughter. Everything went off without a hitch and I have discoverd a new passion. I loved making Bubba's costume and altering Baby J's too. I am already planning for next year!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Taking it back

So much has been written about how my generation is a totally apathetic, disconnected, anti-community, non- volunteering, selfish, underachieving group of irresponsible and untrustworthy people. We’re the X’ers after all. We’re slighted, angry whiners. We have big dreams but no staying power with our follow through.

But I think we have been adults long enough to re-write our generational reputation. And here is why I think so.

The powers that be talk down to us, exploit our vote and ignore our presence at the political table. That is, until they can no longer claim that we are ignorant and useless. As our collective voice has started rising to the surface, we are in fact quite knowledgeable, and we’re also willing to put some skin into the process. Here’s a truth that seems to be coming into the light though... we will not play by the rules of the status quo. We want change.

I’m a woman, so I can only speak from that perspective, but I have re-written how I am supposed to tend to my career and tend to my family. I chose the non-profit sector out of college and when it was time to have my second child, I went against the grain and I quit my job, under protest that I was taking the “easy way out”. Right, because being at home with little ones, day in and day out is just so “easy”. And when I am finished with the season of shaping little hearts and minds, I will return to the work force, more prepared and frankly more valuable to whomever I choose to work for.

I do not think it is any coincidence that parenting trends are changing right now. An intuitive, attachment oriented parenting style is once again getting the respect it is owed. We know what it is like to be a child in a disconnected generation and we do now want that for our kids. Period. Co-sleeping is talked about in the open. Parents are carrying babes and toddlers in arms and carriers more often and the stigma is lifting.

Okay so now that I’ve made such assertions in grand wide sweeping stroke, let me back that up by also stating this: We are still most definitely finding our way. We have the very same polarization that the rest of our country struggles with, but it does look different. It really does. Our way of doing things definitely have a messy essence to it. But one of the best things about mess is that it alerts us to the reality that things need tending to. Our generation’s finger print on society needs to be taken seriously. It needs to be respected. And it is not going away... no matter how much our image and reputation is smeared.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Okay, Okay

... So I'm getting some irl pressure to give Costco just one more try, so I've decided I am gonna do another price comparison. I am also going to see if my power to stay away from the middle of the store has matured at all in the past two years. Stay tuned to see if poetic mama can 1) go to Costco and only buy necessities, and 2) if there are any real savings that justify the cost of membership and gas money. I promise I will share the results of my experiment.

Monday, October 20, 2008

It loves me, it loves me not...

I have had a complicated relationship with Costco and it's temptations for me over the last couple of years. Many I know, swear by their savings, but that has just not flushed out for me, and so I canceled my membership two years ago. And honestly, I have rarely looked back... except maybe when I am loading up my cart with the weekly snacks I have to buy to keep the peace with the hungry wee ones running about.

So I was surfing the web today, and I really could not have said this any better... so go check out Scribbit's entry on the issue. Hope you all are having a happy Monday! (I know, I know that's an oxymoron)

Thursday, October 16, 2008


Tapestry- September 2, 2001

reunion of braided experience woven by spirit
reflected in each heart around a table
behind the eyes of unique soul lies imprinted
the creators dream for tomorrow

over collective shoulder the memories of days past
while future promises fulfillment of one plan
life partners, children, creation- all to glorify
ushering divine presence within the tapestry of time

blessings cherished trials bared by connection
the masterpiece created to absorb experience
allowing One to move us into deeper understanding of deity
creating texture for each individual thread

the tapestry reflects story created with each life
joy friendship pain love
revealed in mysterious color of providence
woven together to help heal evolving hearts

***I wrote this poem years ago after one of our Hart Girls reunions and as I was editing photos this morning, I came across my dear friends wedding pics from this past summer. I have been friend's with these women for over 15 years and they are my life line. A couple of the women could not attend and they were sorely missed, but it was a wonderful time of reconnection. We have been through so much together. Weddings, funerals, divorces, break ups, babies, friend squabbles, fun, sorrow, life changes, career changes, graduations, moves... etc., I am the woman I am today, because I have shared my life with these women, and they have trusted their journeys with me as well. And looking at this picture as me thinking...

Thinking about relationship once more, but that is another post! Suffice it to say, I realized yet again, that I am created for relationship... and that is all good.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Momma's Little Duckie

It was so hard to watch my heart on legs in a duckie costume, go up on stage for the first time. I so wanted her to have a successful first performing experience... and of course she did. She is now officially bitten by the stage bug. I had to laugh at myself during the performance. I have become the mom in the audience doing the routine right along with the kids... I am that mom... when the hell did that happen?

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Creation Hiatus

So I've been battling this problem with my hands and wrists for years, and just recently I found out one of the underlying issues, so my new and wonderful chiropractor put me on temporary typing/ knitting/ sewing/ picture taking hiatus. And though I am blogging right now, I have been a pretty good listener thus far. It was to the point where I could not feel my hands most of the time, so most of those activities were already halted, but if this will give me the rest I need, then I will take it. Sometimes the simplest thing we can do is just rest.

Fitting for a Sunday... a Sunday I actually went to church.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

My daughter supplies with a breath of fresh air.

This is not a blog that often ventures into the political arena, yet in the midst of this historic and very disconcerting election season, I am finding myself feeling suffocated by sexism around every corner. For the record, I am an Obama fan... pretty much since his opening speech at the 2004 DNC. I never endorsed Clinton... I was thrilled a woman had a serious chance, but my politics don't always align with her leadership. I do however think that she does Hillary Clinton well, and therefore I have a true respect for her.

I can't even spend much energy writing or frankly even thinking about Sarah Palin's nomination, but I can say this... I feel and see a collective undoing of years of advancement for women everywhere.

But this post is not about the lack of equality in our midst. No, this post is about the pure truth that all are created equal... we just assign hierarchy later. My daughter made it very clear to me this morning:

Baby J: "Mommy, are you a doctor?"
me: "No, I'm a mommy and a photographer."
Baby J: "Why aren't you a dr.?"
me: "Because I don't want to be a doctor, that is not my talent. I am good at taking pictures, and at being a mommy."
Baby J: "Well, I don't want to be a mommy, I want to be a doctor." (long pause)
me: "You can be whatever you want to be... whatever your talent is."
Baby J: (another long pause) "No, I want to be a mommy and a doctor. That's what I want to do... both."
me: "I like that plan."

As sexism is being tolerated and encouraged all around us, it is good to have a conversation like this with my 3 year old. I can't focus on what is wrong. I have to focus on what is right... and work towards helping what is wrong shift for my life, and for my daughter's life too. She believes she can do anything... and it does not even occur to her that she can't do things her brothers can. That's progress... amazing progress.

Monday, September 29, 2008

A Weekend Away

I am a terribly reserved person when it comes to new situations and this past weekend was just the sort of occassion for me to be completely out of my comfort zone. I was able meet about 20 people I have never met irl before and can I just say, I had an amazing time... anxiety and all.

Twenty three women gathers in sunny Vegas to hang out together as friends, women and fellow momies. Most of these women have been together since they were pregnant with their firecracker babies almost four years ago and they are a great group of gals! I joined the board about a year ago, because my irl bff is a regular on this board, but I am a low post person, so I have a fairly low profile there. Every year I would hear of her trip to Vegas and how wonderful it was. This year I decided to try it out for myself, and what a great time it was. Everyone was super kind and welcoming. It was so great to get away and find some refueling for my tired mommy spirit.

I'm already planning for next year!!!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Sometimes I feel like an alien

In my own culture that is. How did we get to this place of mostly hollow living? How did we collectively decide that mediocre was good enough. Mediocre living, mediocre maturity, mediocre relating, mediocre producing. I feel so foreign on the streets of LA sometimes. I want to have excellence around me... not the mirage of excellence. I want to pass a legacy of excellence and achievement to my children and my children's children. I want to feel every emotion that is given to me and I want to feel it intensely.

In recent years I have moved away from what my culture says is the path to the brass ring, and in doing so, I actually feel like I am finally feeling just the tip of the ice berg in regards to the type of life I can have, if I really reach for the abundant life. True abundance is not about the American dream, and all of the *stuff* that goes with it. True abundance is about taking each breath to it's most maximum potential. Oh how I hope I can be a part of helping our community shift back towards a more wholesome living.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Harvest Moon

Harvest Moon, originally uploaded by poetic mama.

I saw the most beautiful harvest moon last week, and it was very frustrating to me that I could not properly capture the colors yet. Sometimes I hate being such a novice. Someday, I will find that beautiful harvest moon again, and I'll be able to capture it too.

Welcome Autumn!!!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

It's been a while...

... since I've had a chance to watch a good indie movie by myself and, what a movie it was. My dearest friend let me borrow Playing By Heart and I am so glad I took the time to sit down and watch it. The format of the movie was dangerously predictable, but the story totally compensated for a predictable formula. The acting was phenomenal. Sean Connery, Angelina Jolie, Gillian Anderson, Ellen Burstyn, Gena Rowlands... and even Ryan Phillippe and Jon Stewart.

Go out and get this movie!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

I love me some wii

Wow, I had know idea how much I would love my wii and wii fit, but I just love it. Who wouldn't love the hoola hoop and yoga? Not to mention my ability to resurrect my obsession with the orginal Super Mario Bros. game. I am in love!!! And so is my whole family!!!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Back To School For Me Too

Back to school for my kids, means back to school for me too. It was a wonderful and free summer, but now it is time to settle into an autumn routine.

So hopefully I will be able to *Post It* more often

Link to Flickr

This, That, and The Other


School is back in session, but now I'm officially a mommy taxi. Lucky for me I have a niced organized van... and a dvd player for the kids not in karate. Can I tell you how cute it is to watch a 3 yr. old and a 5 yr. old kid scurry about in a crisp white gi.

I'm a big anger ball right now, thus the lower profile round these parts. I am finally completely aware of what I have left to grief. It's a good anger. The belly anger that is helping me work through the mess.

And The Other:

I gotta share at least one new photo:

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Saturday, September 13, 2008

The art of simplicity

photo credit: my mil... pp was done by poetic mama

So just in the last week I have come to a new understanding that has totally lifted me towards a new level of freedom. The biggest key I know to successfully living a life of simplicity, is to rest in the knowledge that I know very little about this life. It is what I do know though, that is something I can rest in no matter what life brings me. I know myself. I know how I feel, and when I am in tune with that which is only mine to possess, everything else is manageable. And I mean everything.

This has been a huge week of things coming into focus for me. One thing cast into perfect focus is the huge issue I have been running from most of my life, and all of my adult life. Fear has kept me locked behind my own defenses for so long. I was so afraid that when I reached focus of this issue, I would never be the same. That, ironically has absolutely come true, but in an entirely different way than I expected. Instead of being consumed by my deepest wound, I am finding myself strangely at home in my own skin... in a way that I have not experienced since early childhood.

I guess the *the man behind the curtain* was wrong after all. This wound is not, nor was it ever, proof of my eternal worthlessness. Good thing I held enough hope to keep traveling the path towards finding a better answer.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

To Thine Own Self Be True- Part Three

It took me a long time to understand that my emotion was given to me. I feel because I am human and therefore, I can pay attention to what my experience is as I travel through life and relationships. This is an important piece to my evolution. When I look look behind to where I've been, it changes my perspective.

My sorrow is an opportunity to heal, my anger is an opportunity to pay attention to what is unjust, my joy is an opportunity to be grateful for this life I've been given.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Boo's First Day

Boo's First Day
Originally uploaded by poetic mama

We've all been very busy around here helping Boo prepare for his exciting new journey. It was a wonderful day and I am so proud to be Boo's mommy...especially now that he is in kindergarten.

Friday, August 29, 2008


Originally uploaded by gefilte

photo credit- Gefilte... aka dh.

So I saw this on my flickr contact list this morning and it made a momma's heart swell. At least one of the offspring got my eye for design and organization.! Woot!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

We Build

By Nichole Nordeman

It's bigger than we thought
It's taller than it oughta be
This pile of rubble and ruins
The neighbors must talk
It's the worst yard on the block
Just branches and boards
Where walls stood

Did it seem to you
Like the storm just knew
We weren't quite finished with the roof
When it started?

So we build
We build
We clear away what was
And make room for what will be
If you'll hold the nails, I'll take the hammer
I'll hold it still, if you'll climb the ladder
If you will, then I will build

On any given day
We could simply walk away
And let someone else hold the pieces
The lie that we tell
Says that it's better somewhere else
As if love flies south when it freezes

What I'm tryin' to say
In some clumsy way is that
It's you and only you for always

That's why we build
We build
We clear away what was
And make room for what will be
If you'll hold the nails, I'll take the hammer
I'll hold it still if you'll climb the ladder
If you will, then I will build

What I'm tryin' to say
In some clumsy way is that
It's you and only you for always
Not just for now, not just today
But it's you and only you
For always

So if you hold the nails, I'll take the hammer
I'll hold it still if you'll climb the ladder
And if you will, then I will build

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

To Thine Own Self Be True- Part Two

So the conversation I had really has had many tangent effects for me and today I want to chat a bit about why knowing oneself makes all the difference. I want to start by making the disclaimer that I am a person who has really struggled to feel comfortable being in my own skin. I was not able to develop a strong sense of self until just recently. I often hid from myself and also from others and I do not feel I lived within all that I was created to be. So with that... here we go.

It is really difficult to grow into a deep knowledge of self. It seems selfish, or egotistical, or even a waste of time. Our culture likes us not being present... because when are absent from life, we are more likely to buy too much stuff, use too much stuff, and follow blindly after someone with charisma. (or the *right* set of beliefs)

My marriage counselor, (yes dh and I are in marriage counseling... oh how I wished we had given ourselves this gift years ago. Really, if you’ve never been in marriage counseling... I highly recommend it.) recently talked with us about how there are really two ways in which we interact in the world and with other people. We are driven either by fear or by love. When we are living the life of shoulds, we are in fear based living, and we will often sell our true self out for the “benefits” of doing things the way things ought to be done. Then later we are angry and we behave in ways that are unhelpful in relationship and unhelpful in the world. When we stop and notice how we are feeling and we honor that, only then can we respond out of a place of love...and that sometimes will look pretty messy. When we can hold onto ourselves and speak truth in our lives and relationships, we can be a more true reflection of God.

So how does all of this fit into my conversation they other day? Well, I was amazingly humbled listening to my parents and their friend. When I was in leadership during that time I was living totally out of a place a fear of myself and most everything else too. I wanted so much to see change in the church, but I totally missed the being the change that I want to see in the world, and I was my missed opportunity.

Now I have spent tons of time knowing the depths of me, and those that I hold most dear, and I have come down off my high horse. Most of my closest friends these days are agnostic, atheist, or pantheist. And that is much more comfortable for me. I am still a christian, but I know myself well and I can really listen to others with new ears. And here is what I have learned, unilaterally about people. What engages me, and those I am in relationship with, is story. All of the great truth in the world is best digested through a great story. When I sit down in a church chair, I need to here a really good story. One that is way bigger than me and allows me to sit in the mystery of life and the mystery of god. That’s really all I need.


We went to the baptism service for two special girls this weekend and while we were there, the kids decided to pose for some pics. It is usually like pulling teeth to get them together, but I guess when it is their idea, it becomes fun. At any rate, this picture makes a momma's heart swell!

Monday, August 25, 2008

To Thine Own Self Be True

This topic might evolve into a series of posts, because I have a feeling I have too much to say about this...I'm just warning you now.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a Dodger game with my parents and one of their dear friends. I have often felt intimidated by this particular friend, though I could never capture why I felt so unsettled in his presence. He's a wonderfully kind and gifted man. Gentle in spirit and confident in deed. Yet I often struggled with a feeling of unease around him.

So let's just call this man Ben. Listening to Ben that day allowed me to understand what about him unnerved me before. Ben understands himself intimately and he is totally at home in his own skin. His spirit is open, though not easily fooled. His humor is irreverent, though respectful of sacred. His thought is concise and no nonsense. Now I don't mean to cast in the role of incarnate, merely someone who is totally okay with being forever human.

It was a great game and we enjoyed the sweet Dodger victory with the newly signed Manny Ramirez. It was fun to watch a good game, banter with my dad and his friend, and gossip incessantly with my mother. On the way home, Ben approached a subject gingerly and I am so glad the conversation was had.

He's been curious about a new style of preaching that has been very popular around folks trying to taylor christian worship towards my generation, and more so the ones that follow me. The buzz words are the postmodern movement or the emergent moment. When I was in youth ministry, I spent a ton of energy around the study of what to do, to reach the next generations, so I have a history with this. And now I am a retired youth worker who hasn't been to church since May and it hasn't even occurred to me to be shameful about that.

What Ben brought to task was the style of teaching sermons...the term coined in the conversation that day was Lesson Plan Preaching. He does not like a style of speaking that goes something like this...

* Introduction and announcement of what will be taught in the next minutes
* Reading of Bible passage
* Giving a ton of historical and theological reference
* A couple of minutes of interpretation
* and then ending with a few lines of life application

He claims the style to be flat and safe and I was really surprised by the description and yet I immediately agreed with him, as did both of my parents. It is a rarity for my parents and I to agree on most anything, so this was quite intriguing. While I was listening to the conversation it totally hit me... I find that style to be flat because it feels very disconnecting to me.

Why we find it flat is very different for Ben and I... and both are valid. Ben is an agnostic and he's in the community because of relationships he has formed over the years. When he goes to church, as I understand it, he is hoping to learn ways of living in the world better. When I go to church I want to just be able to feel safe. Safe enough to to find my core in relation to a living God. Really... it is two different ways of attempting to achieve self actualization. When the style of preaching avoids the tough stuff of life... sorrow, depravity, evil... it also avoids deep grace, transformation and actualization for others.

The conversation turned to why one would change styles to that type of speaking, and I was reminded of all of the conversation of why the Lesson Plan style would engage people in our culture more than a more conventional preaching style. It was said that the conventional style was overwhelming and inaccessible. The conversation was that people have little context for faith anymore, so knowledge is power... or something like that. But that was a bunch of us all talking to one another, which definitely produced a circular conversation.

Ben's take on the shift was that it was fear of being controversial. My take on it is that it takes a huge amount of being comfortable with one's self, to speak to the tough things in life, without absolutes and correct biblical interpretation. It is tempting to hide behind being a good student of scripture and teach on it, without really exposing oneself. I know this personally.

So the take away for me is this... The new style of preaching designed to be relevant and more accessible is really just a new version of the same style of convention. We christians are becoming known for being really self righteous in our lack of maturation. We reward group think and staying within the constraints of concrete thinking. We are afraid of the dark side of our humanity and we cast out those who question our beliefs with abstract thought.

Or in less flowery terms...that uses the pronoun “I” rather than the pronoun “we”. It is way more important to really be working on maturing myself and pressing on to perfection, than it is to appear like I've already arrived at that maturity. (yes my rearing in Wesleyan theology dies hard)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Slacker Blogger...

... so I promised to show some pics of my works in progress and then nothing. Forgive me as I do the catch up all in one day.

Life Organization:
I've been working on hotspots in our home for weeks and I just haven't finished all of the pics to upload here. Here is the before picture of the Bathroom:

And the after:



I've been knitting this practice shawl for months now... in this post, I was only like fifteen rows into the project. Now I'm a 3/4 of the way through... finished enough to know how I want to start the real shawl I'm making someone for christmas Super yip!

Boo Comedy

So I am sweeping the kitchen floor the other day when Boo asked me a very humorous set of questions. It went something like this:

Boo: "Mommy, is the Magic School Bus science fiction?" (This is a children's book series that Boo loves.)

Me: "Um no, it is fiction, just not science fiction... that is something different. Where did you hear the term science fiction?"

Boo: "But the Magic School Bus is about science... so why isn't it science fiction?'

Me: "Science Fiction is a specific type of fiction that is often set in the future. Daddy loves that type of story. Where did you hear the term?

Boo: "From this book mommy." As he showed me this book

Oh how I love being the mommy to a little boy who can read and loves to ask questions!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Summer Dilemma

I was just getting into the groove of posting every day and then the summer came. I want so much to have time to spend with my wee ones while school is still out. When school starts, I promise to get back into my routine here. So for this week I will be showing little projects I have been able to complete...things all the way from updating the family scrapbook, to organizing the Mother Ship, aka mommy's van. I hope you are having a wonderful summer!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Anne of Green Gables and Star Wars

I am loving the ages that my children are right now. Each kid is in a fun stage... aka no one is really pushing hard on the boundaries. (at least for this week) This week is going to be a down week in our home, and so what better time than now, to introduce them to some childhood favorites. I'm reading the kids Anne of Green Gables, we are watching the PBS production movie, and my oldest ds has just been welcomed into the ranks of loving Star Wars. I love this parenting gig!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Life with a Toddler

So I've been holding this post back since Friday night. I was hoping something really witty would come to the surface, but then today it hit me. The picture says it all:

Yes that is a Toddler Bible in the toilet. It is rich with theological undertones all by itself. And yes both of Bubbas parents did graduate from a conservative christian college, and then promptly became a tad irreverent... why do you ask? Think they'll call for the diplomas back?

(and for the record, no I did not stage this picture...I found the story book bible that way... thus the title for the post)

Tuesday, July 29, 2008


I have driven past this building several times a week for almost five years and have often dreamed of having the skills to make this old building pop in a photo. Finally last week, I mustered up the courage to stop and make a first attempt at photographing the site. This is the first installment of what might just be many attempts to capture what's in my mind's eye:

Monday, July 28, 2008

Experimenting with new techniques

The more I get into the art of photography, the more I realize I need to learn. It is so fun to just get out there and take pictures!

When I stopped working, I started a trend of personal entropy in my soul. I stopped growing and I stopped pursuing something that was just for me. I am so glad I have found a way to reverse that current in my life!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

I'm up and running again!

My photos have been transferred to the new computer. I've edited lots of pics and I even uploaded 4th of July pics to shutterfly so I can scrapbook. Dh is home from a work conference and peace as come to visit once more. Hopefully I'll be able to get more work done and uploaded to flickr and the blog this week. Oh yeah, and I should probably work on my next photo assignment too.

Lil' Miss Baby J

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Changing of Seasons

I am back… I feel totally at home in my own skin and I am finding new layers of myself as I am processing through my journey into motherhood. I think I will always look back on this season, as a time similar to what Moses and David experienced in shepherding for years as preparation. My life largely consists of mundane tasks. Cleaning laundry, wiping bums and noses, shuttling kids to and fro. Yet it has been through the mundane that I have found my core and it is through such humbling circumstances, that I am being shown the unique place in the world set-aside just for me.

I have worked hard; I have been humbled by my depravity. I have made huge mistakes in my most important relationships and I have found tremendous grace through the confrontation of my own self-centeredness. I have said good-bye to many wonderful friends and colleagues and have said hello to many more fellow travelers.

And now it is time for me to start a new stage in my life. I am so excited to search for what I really want to do next. I know for sure it will include creating and relating… beyond that I am still not sure. What I do know is that I am working myself out of a job as 24/7 infant and toddler care director, and I am working my way back towards pursuing my own dreams.

Many years ago my dreams were spit on, by a couple of people who had great influence in my life… and I was one of the ones spitting in my own soup, so to speak. Now I choose humbleness and grace as the perspective in which I will look into what I might want to do next. I will need help… and I have great companionship in my journeying so I am trusting that all of my needs are being attended to, even before I have them.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Another One Bites the Dust...

Ds 2...aka Bubbas, broke my new computer. It was a small fall, but oh so expensive. It will cost $1100 to repair... or $1400 to replace. Argh!!! Oh well... such is life. The thing I am the saddest about, is not being able to post pics on the blog and Flickr for a couple of days. Forgive me for a few more picture less entries. =(

Friday, July 18, 2008

Oh Yes... I keep forgetting I promised vacation pics...

...So here you go...

This, That, and The Other


So the cleaner came. The books found their way back into the shelf. The pile on top of the table is now several more organized piles. How could I actually clean it off, when I got a new toy yesterday, which leads to...

My new lens is mounted and I am loving it! The EF 50mm f1.4 lens does not disappoint!

The Other:

On the learning front, I am learning about cloning in photo editing, and natural lighting in the art of photography.

It's been a quick week, which means the weekend is already here and I'll have lots of opportunity to use my new lens. I hope your weekend is relaxing and fun!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Visions from underneath the thinking cap...

...aka the old rusty colander the kids play with. Boo put it on my head, because after all that is where a thinking cap belongs! I am watching my son play act in front of me, while still wearing his mismatched pajama's at 1 PM in the afternoon. Can I tell you just how much I love the summer. Can I also say that I am so glad I dropped out of the perfect house wife, perfect mother club... and here's my proof:

The pile on the dining room table that is just begging to fall:

The laundry that needs folding:

The "bookshelf" with very few actual books currently housed there:

The toys I've been tripping over for days:

Lucky for me our house cleaner comes tomorrow and she's even going to do windows for me....I'm just so giddy!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Finally some calm

Last week was a very emotional week. Most of the medical issues are starting to resolve themselves, but there is great loss too. There is also some mystery mixed in there. Though I don't want to go into great detail, out of respect for those involved, I want to share a little bit.

My mother is having some health issues and though she was hospitalized for testing, we still don't know exactly what is going on. At least we've ruled out some of the scary possibilities, but she's still not well and we don't have anything concrete yet. Everyone in my family is so accustomed to my mother being the healthy one, so it was hard to see her in need. Every child needs to see their momma safe and healthy, and I am no different. We can be three or thirty three and that truth resonates. I am grateful that she is getting great care, and I hope we can find some clues to the mystery this week at her next appointment.

On a good note... this little guy is home from a stay in the NICU... and isn't he just one of the most adorable little ones you have ever seen...

In the end, I am reminded, yet again, that life is fragile and we control very little. I am implored to stay connected to those I love in meaningful ways. I am reminded to be grateful for the wonderful things of this life and to grieve the sorrowful things as well.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

We are having a week here

All of a sudden our extended family is having all sorts of medical issues, so I won't be able to blog so much this week. Send positive thoughts and prayers our way please!

Monday, July 7, 2008


... Okay, so I guess I officially have to call my vacation over. *Pout*

It was a wonderful week. It was incredibly relaxing. The beach, the pool, Legoland, 4th of July with friends, a brand new baby pseudo-nephew... life is good!

Now we are home, slowly umpacking and head first into Vacation Bible Camp. I love volunteering and not having Director after my name! I'm never going back... I'm just never gonna do that one ever again! I'll post pics soon!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

A stroll

A stroll, originally uploaded by poetic mama.

It's been a bit quiet around the blog this week, because we are easing our way into summer. Next week will be quiet too... we're off to our first five of us vacation ever!!! I'm sure some pictures of our fun will show up here. Enjoy your summer!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

I feel so much better...

In light of recent criticism I heard swirling over my head about me and this sweet little space I like to call home; this made me laugh... Put that in your book!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Boo's New Do...

My boy, he's growing up. Today he got his first summer buzz cut. He looks so adorable!

Monday, June 23, 2008


So I finished my first unit of my photography course a couple of weeks ago and I submitted my tests and my photo projects. Here are the photos I submitted:


Selective Focus

Great Depth of Field

The criticism wasn't nearly bad as I feared... and I learned alot from my mentor! I love this program!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

School's Out

Summer is here!!! We are all excited around here and we decided to usher the season in with gusto! There were strawberries for mid morning snack.

There was a chance to finally put together the wood birdhouse...

..and the race car.

And the best part of it all...Today is Pajama Day!!! ''The kids...aka Boo is wearing pj's all day long!!!

It is so good to have the time to slow down and play!