Tuesday, February 5, 2008

I've taken some things off the table

When I get worn down and feel vulnerable, I often throw my empowerment on the table, which leaves those things that are naturally within my scope of control, up for debate. When people then cross those boundaries I feel hurt and overwhelmed...and then I act out. This relational cycle has been going on my whole adult life, but it wasn't until I saw it acted out in my relationship with my children, that I really felt a strong urge to challenge the phenomenon in my life.

Here is what I need to take off the table:
I am the mother of my children.

I am one of two people that decides and sets the tone of relationship, communication, and discipline in our family. (the other being my dear husband)

I am the owner of my own home and am one of two people that decide what it looks and feels like. I also get to decide how it gets cared for.

I decide who I share intimacy with. I don't have to be transparent with everyone. Being real and still guarded is more authentic.

I can put space between me and anyone who does not respect me and my God given birth rghts... it's my life, my body, my responsibility, my future.

So there it is... am I the only one who struggles with this?

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