Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Changing of Seasons

I am back… I feel totally at home in my own skin and I am finding new layers of myself as I am processing through my journey into motherhood. I think I will always look back on this season, as a time similar to what Moses and David experienced in shepherding for years as preparation. My life largely consists of mundane tasks. Cleaning laundry, wiping bums and noses, shuttling kids to and fro. Yet it has been through the mundane that I have found my core and it is through such humbling circumstances, that I am being shown the unique place in the world set-aside just for me.

I have worked hard; I have been humbled by my depravity. I have made huge mistakes in my most important relationships and I have found tremendous grace through the confrontation of my own self-centeredness. I have said good-bye to many wonderful friends and colleagues and have said hello to many more fellow travelers.

And now it is time for me to start a new stage in my life. I am so excited to search for what I really want to do next. I know for sure it will include creating and relating… beyond that I am still not sure. What I do know is that I am working myself out of a job as 24/7 infant and toddler care director, and I am working my way back towards pursuing my own dreams.

Many years ago my dreams were spit on, by a couple of people who had great influence in my life… and I was one of the ones spitting in my own soup, so to speak. Now I choose humbleness and grace as the perspective in which I will look into what I might want to do next. I will need help… and I have great companionship in my journeying so I am trusting that all of my needs are being attended to, even before I have them.

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