Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Operation 'Hang Out Home"

So if you can believe it, my kiddos are 4, 6, and 8 now...crazy but true!  And I have felt this transition for a bit now, but we are officially in the space of friends taking a more center stage in the growth and focus of my kids lives.  I feel myself squarely in the movement from the center of their universe towards becoming the captain of their cheerleading team.  Dh and I are still most definitely the foundation of their world...with some help from the Cornerstone, yet they are beginning to move along on their own paths.  Gracefully, I get to journey alongside them!

Now is a time for a huge strategy shift though.  I want my kids to grow friendships and learn how to cope in the social world... but I do not want to leave them to fend for themselves.  They are already made for relationship and each of them have a strong and secure attachment base... so now it is time to make their home the place for all of the kids to be.  I am already a kid person, so this is as natural as breathing for me.  A few good (and sometimes nutrious) snacks, fun activities and snap... Operation Hang Out Haven is underway.

I want my home to be a safe zone for my kids and anyone they want to host.  I want this to be a space where kindness is required and everyone is safe- mind, body, and soul.  I want to know my kids friends. I want to watch my kids interact and see where they are in their understanding of boundaries and kindness, especially when they are less aware of me observing.

Years ago, I was placed in a situation where I needed to make a judgement call for a child's well being.  I have carried a deep doubt ever since about whether I chose well for that child and for that family.  It was hard to be placed in a space of discerning family dynamics for someone else.  Then last year I found myself in a very similar position, only it was my family and I was needing to intervene for myself and mine.  And now I understand myself better, because at least I am consistent.  I have a passion for helping children stay safe... and even when it is me or mine that needs intervention I will answer that call.

And so, I am so grateful for the gift set I have been given.  May some simplicity, honesty, and stillness create in me the space to be a haven for others.