Saturday, June 8, 2013

A Random Saturday Post...Because I Just Can't Wait

Random Things That Piss Me Off:

That thing you do when you hold your cell phone in front of you and talk into it while on *speaker phone mode*... yeah, that’s still illegal.  Hands free means, hands free.

That thing you do when you publicly praise your spouse repetitively on Facebook...yeah, what audience are you playing to?  Just nudge them and praise them, please spare the rest of us.  Of course that assumes that you do in fact live with them and you are doing as well in your marriage as you so boldly claim.

I don’t care what your meal looks like...ever.  Not on Facebook, not on Instagram, not on Flickr, not via text message.  Really.

That thing I do where I praise my children publicly on Facebook...yeah, what audience am I playing to?  To be clear, my kids do pick their noses right out in the open and talk back to me with perfectly timed eye rolls.  Sometimes I see way too much of my negative qualities acted out right in front of me.  And then I want to ground them for a year, but I don’t because that would just be torture for me.

That thing you do when you put an inside joke in your status update...yeah, I don’t think you’re cool just because I have no idea what the hell you are talking about.  

I hate hash tags.  In fact I hate Twitter.  My brain is too old to understand what the hell it is good for.  Can anyone say Netscape!?!

That thing you do when you judge me for making a decision that threatens your status quo...yeah, and then I judge you for judging me and all of the judgements happen before either of us has processed the interaction.  That.

That thing you do when you publicly bemoan you’re poor because of your servant for Christ status and everyone who isn’t doesn’t care as much as you...yeah, you chose the path of your life.  Kind of defeats the purpose if you need to let everyone know how much you’re sacrificing.

I hate just how hard it is to actually practice the golden rule.  I would like others to treat me they way I want to be treated and I also want to treat others however the hell I feel like treating them on any given day.

So just in case I put myself up on a pedestal for you to worship me, or you placed me up there because of assumptions that are totally your business...I think today’s post has sufficiently cut me back down to size.  

***And a bonus ending to this rant... I hate how much I love to use ellipsis marks in every single post I compose.  I hate commas and I hate the english language and how complicated the use of punctuation is within the mindf**king system.  But I love run on sentences.  Your Welcome.

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