Monday, July 8, 2013

Transcendance Movement Two- reign

despair- a human response to depravity


I don’t think I want to love you anymore
not the way that lets you into my soul
your actions long ago spared me from spiritual death
but some days I still question such divine intervention

the pain has never really ceased
just traveled itself down to my depths
I feel I cannot access it when I need it most
but then it bubbles up at the most vulnerable of times

I do not feel desire to worship you
not the way that makes me vulnerable to your spirit
I stop myself from feeling the innate part of me
that cannot deny the power of your love

the rage I feel seems in direct contradiction
to the faithful existences of the saints gone before
but the numbness I cause to mask the burning in my heart
feels even less to be the countenance of a true disciple

why do you trap me in the place where I must concede
admit my human eyes cannot see the way to wholeness
submit to the reality that you alone see the clear path
accept that you guide me only in each step along the way

but the rebellion in me wants to rage against your providence
for surely my dreams must be the brass ring
yet you take not into account the desires of my heart
or so it feels in the desert of your reign

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