Monday, September 30, 2013

Transcendance Movement Three- Skipping a Step?

question-the bridge from despair to hope

Skipping a Step?

Dive under the surface --
why would one choose that fate?
Pain exists can’t I know that true--
without having to experience it?

What’s the point--
is it to excavate truth? 
Or is it to strip me--
the little dignity I attempt to produce?

Monday, September 23, 2013

Transcendance Movement Two- Search For Definition

despair- a human response to depravity

Search For Definition

My days seem to run together
and today got lost behind time
The lump of regret sits so in my throat
as memory is reminded of lie.

Once long ago before season of soul crime
the heart was left to beat as You willed.
Now the pannicked muffled cries from the city
invade me to drown out a depraved sorrow.

I am so acutely aware of desire to re-define
unearth the truth foundation for my life.
To recapture that moment before denied
frozen in the depth of lost time.

*** For the record, this movement has been very heavy, so today I am glad to be able to be at the end of the look into a human response to depravity.  Next Monday begins the bridge from despair into hope.  I may have written these pieces more than a decade ago, during a different season of my life, and yet as I have shared this work publicly, the rhythm of my current life seems to be making time these poems again in this season.  Grace Be.  ***

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Hold it Close...

As welcoming as I am towards ushering in some cooler weather and having more down time in a quiet home during the day, I am really struggling to let go of the carefree summer.  I love being with my kids.  I love being with my kids without the daily grind of homework, activities, and responsibility.  I want the carefree to last just a little bit longer.  And so, I find myself in a bit of a "I don't wanna put my big girl panties back on again" funk this week.  You know the one where...

... I'm struggling through organizing this fall routine and doing it awkwardly...

so then...

... the kids are getting used to this new routine as it falls into place and feeling uncomfortable too....


... I'm facing lots of questions about what power is and is this how you use power in your life from said kids...


... I'm am more emotionally taxed and drained because I have to hold the line more repetitively.... AKA “Ogre Princess Momma”


... the kids are disappointed that good choices are still expected even in the midst of transition...AKA “More time-outs and consequences than usual.”


... the carefree summer feels like it was so long ago.  Soon we will be settled and find the joy in autumn, but for now I will clutch the great memories from this past summer and say... Grace Be.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Transcendance Movement Two- distorted disguise

despair- a human response to depravity

distorted disguise

uncloak evil from distorted disguise
modeled so vehemently by those of the fire

beckon hidden beasts from the plastered clerical mold
designed to steal mystery and destroy light

show your infinite power claimed right
prove that sinful desire melts in your splendor

Monday, September 9, 2013

Transcendance Movement Two- walking the Edge into sorrow

despair- a human response to depravity

walking the Edge into sorrow

a psyche ready to explode- the thought of... 
pretense or reality?

I am floating above me... 
attempting to ignore the obscenity of past

but I cannot escape…
the toll is taking a bite out of soul


make it not real anymore
change the havoc of my past

Friday, September 6, 2013

Back to Routine...

Picture Edited with app

I normally don't add words my Friday images, but today I must.  I love adding special touches for my kids on many special days throughout the year.  I happen to be a crafty sort, so I don't often feel anxious about these little splashes of creative love, but I have heard from other friends that it can be a huge stressor for moms.  Every now and again I add my back story to this little ole' blog, to help keep things real and break this down to a manageable size for those moms that want to do theses sort of things....not that every mom *should* want to do these things.  (Each person gets to decide what things are important to them.  I rarely cook a from scratch fact I doubt many would classify what I provide for dinner as cooking at all.  I am okay with that.)

I thought I had left over paper from years past to make place mats for the trio for the special day, and I was so confident that I waited until 10 PM the night before to pull this together.  I did think ahead by purchasing the books when they were on sale.  So at 10 PM I had no school paper in my  After considering a meltdown, I calmed myself into believing this was not a time to was an opportunity to improvise. I have a ton of black construction paper and plenty of whala...instant place mat that I will feel no angst in throwing out next week!  The notebook paper napkins were in the the dollar bin at Target.  That was all that was needed.  Oh and those cute pinwheels...I made those several years ago and I just keep re-purposing them over and over again.  They first made their appearance in our family life in this post. 

So to re-cap... here are my pointers to make this happen:

1. DO NOT stress out... it isn't worth it.  I always tell the kids I teach art to that there are "No mistakes in art...only opportunities to be creative and make something better."  If you procrastinate like I did, just work with what you have.  The kids are gonna wreck anything paper anyway, so it's okay to change course!

2.  DO NOT spend a ton of isn't worth it.  Look for sales and tuck away things that might come in handy someday.  I keep a gift closet with toys I find on clearance throughout the year.  I know we are gonna need party gifts and Christmas gifts and so I try to stay ahead of the game.

3.  DO NOT re-invent the isn't necessary.  Re-purpose what you have, search the Internet for ideas, and borrow things from friends.  Share and pass down what you've done too.

4.  DO NOT try and do it isn't even possible.  Decide what you want and what will make the biggest impact for your wee ones.  Discernment is the super power I am trying to grow in my heart these days, because I believe it allows me to have some balance in this crazy life of raising school aged children.

I believe things like this are supposed to be fun for the whole family... and that means mom too!  I took this picture on my phone and edited it with an iPhone app.  It took me 5 minutes... but I am already a photographer, so I have madskills... you know as in *crazy*.  I imagine that you can easily do it in 15 minutes even if you are a newbie!

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

First Day of School- You Know...*ish*

School for my younger kids started today.  My oldest son starts on Friday.  I am not a patient woman.  I'm also not a go-with-the-flow kind of mom and every year, the morning of photo shoot for the first day of school is a tad traumatic for us all.  I have ideas in my head as to how I want the pictures to look and I do not have the patience to deal with all of the anxieties that go along with the first day.  Really it just cramps my creative style...not that it should be about me, but then every year I have done  it poorly and I intensify an already anxious and exciting morning.  

So with that in mind, this year I tried something different, and I am so glad I did.  We staged the first day of school on our last official day of summer.  Coordinated outfits and all so they match the real first day pictures.  I have always been high maintenance when it comes to capturing these sorts of things, but now there is Pinterest and so I feel a need to be honest with everyone, because us moms are feeling the pressure to do perfect pictures, on top of perfect lunches, perfect snacks, and perfect treats.  And it is unnecessary...and frankly unhealthy for our families.

I faked it so I could capture my kids in a relaxed state and by doing so, it let their personalities shine.  I am so happy with this year's pictures and more importantly this year's experience of capturing this special time for my kids.  

Such a Bubbas look!

My sweet kinder boy!

This is my girl...

I cannot believe she is a 3rd grader!

5th Grade man...such a handsome guy!


This is so fake...she is so excited to be starting school!

He cracks me up...

He always has the best expressions...
this totally captures his humor!

Monday, September 2, 2013

Transcendance Movement Two- dichotomy

despair- a human response to depravity


by day one way, by night another dream
which one will win in the end
which one will others love complete

day wears plastic smile, night cloaks itself in agony 
hate the day, fear the night
longing for the nothingness of in-between

freshness in morning between night and day
gives hope that cycle will change
allowing a belief that pain will die away

Sunday, September 1, 2013

WATCH: Video Teach-In on Syria | MoveOn.Org | Democracy In Action

WATCH: Video Teach-In on Syria | MoveOn.Org | Democracy In Action

This is a very helpful town hall discussion.  I highly recommend this video ... I learned so much and truly appreciate a slow and mindful discussion of the issues of humanity surrounding this situation.