Monday, December 30, 2013

Transcendance Movement Three- My God Man

question-the bridge from despair to hope

My God Man

I grew up learning of your gentle heart
your care for the lost and broken.
I dreamt of the time when we would meet-
my mind always believed the sunday school image.
You would scoop me into your arms
caressing my tear stained heart.

My adolescent heart saw a distant powerful man
capable of miracles and taking away my sins.
Somewhere I tried to believe that was for me too-
but the sins of others trapped me under my own.
In all that though I clung to a child-like hope
that you would someday come to rescue me.

Into my “adulthood” I shed any sense of faith
too many years of abuse squashed out innocence.
Filled with volumes of rage and pain-
I turned them on you my God man.
You never came to take the shame away
so I began my search for a better hiding place.

I searched and searched until I fell exhausted to my knees
to the place where I could lift my eyes to your heart.
In a moment I offered a silent prayer-
can you shed the God man suit my heart wrapped you in?
Reveal the compassion and love in which you came to bring

and help me see living deity.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

The Mask You Live In - Trailer

Many friends have shared this link on fb and I cannot wait for this documentary to release.  This was done by the same people who created MissRepresentation, a documentary that I watched about a year and a half ago that was really a catalyst for me and my blogging exploration of gender inequality in this past calendar year.

I worked with pre-teens and teenagers all of my professional life.  I was barely out of adolescence myself when I began ministry with young people.  Adolescence is a developmental stage that grew out of the change of the family during the industrial revolution.  Childhood and adulthood were mostly experienced on a binary continuum before technology advanced our culture to a place of not needing to work so hard to survive.  It was really a matter of were a child until you could bring money to the family through working.  On that day you were graduated...good times over.  Okay, maybe it was not so simplistic, but I think you get my point.

In our culture there is a growing cushion of time and space between the carefree innocence of childhood and the reality of living fully adult.  And it is a good thing to have a chance to transition from childhood into adulthood.  It is the space where autonomy is explored and identity is solidified.  We human beings tend to do really stupid things during the teen years and it seems to be universal...crossing over every divide of gender, socio-economic bracket, race, religion, nationality, etc.  I truly believe it a brain functioning thing, but none the less, it keeps us all aware that in the end, we are all human beings and equal by birthright.

Our culture is a problem for girls and for boys but unfortunately we don't really get the scope of the problem until our youth start to self destruct.  Once the *bad behavior * starts surfacing, we adults run around trying to put blame on the shoulders of someone...anyone but ourselves.  When we launch into the histrionics the teens in need get missed a second time and start becoming the identified patient in our culture.  We gawk and point at them for the self destruction, but rarely do we come alongside to understand what they are trying to communicate to us about the toxicity of our culture.

Girls generally act inwardly...eating disorders, cutting, suicidality, sexual promiscuity, esteem issues, etc.  Boys act outwardly...aggression, violence, damage to property, etc.  The documentary MissRepresentation explored the areas of gender inequality and even touched on the male dynamic a bit, but in the end I was left with a burning in my bosom to keep exploring the issue...specifically as it applies to boys and male teenagers.  This new documentary seems to continue the exploration...

We need to find solutions for our girls and our boys and we need to craft these changes to apply on the very moment a newborn is placed in arms to be nurtured.  Our thinking needs to change, our conversations around gender need to evolve, our parenting needs to be more mindful, our modeling of appropriate behavior need to be valued, our discretion of media needs to be monitored more carefully.

As a parent, I am super strict with what media comes into my home for one very simple reason...I don't trust our culture to give my family a helpful message of what being an adult looks like.  Or to put it more bluntly... I think that our American media is really messed up.  The mighty dollar rules what messages flow out into the world and not what is moral or helpful for healthy human development.  My super strictness is but for a season though and it has always been my intention to slowly relax the rules so that by adolescence they are thinking critically about all media and mostly given freedom to explore what's out there, you know, because they'll do it anyway.  I will prefer they do their exploration in my home so they can be mentored through the process of mindful media usage, rather than to need to go behind my back to see what everyone else is seeing.  I am militant now because my children are building a foundation for adult living, but my intention is to slowly give way to letting them explore the full range of what the media offers, once I feel their moral compass is cemented.

I am not afraid of media, it is just a tool that unfortunately gets handled mostly by the rich and powerful among us.  I have a deep understanding that our media shapes our culture and has for quite some time, but since media is merely a tool it all comes down to who controls what messages get out there.  I do not trust the man behind the curtain to give me or my children any messages that are good for us to thrive in this life...and why should I?  Isn't it my job and my joy to give my children the messages that they need to thrive in this life?

So today I have chosen to use the tool of media to share about media that I find helpful...may it be helpful to you and yours.

Here is a link to to the trailer for MissRepresentation:

Monday, December 23, 2013

Transcendance Movement Three- can You heal?

question-the bridge from despair to hope

can You heal?

what will allow me to believe myself safe,
in the presence of you, the physician of soul?
a question posed by a frightened child
folded into self deep within my eye.

imagine a faith that lives beyond shame,
a humbleness not then used to break my hope.
picture relief found from tear finally shed

and in that moment is where my heart needs Your rest.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Reflection looking back at me... not a teenage girl nor a young adult.  And I know my heart has grabbed hold of the stillness only freedom brings.

"God says we need to love our enemies.  It hard to do.  But I can start by telling the truth.  No one had ever asked me what it feel like to be me.  Once I told the truth about that, I felt free.  And I got to thinking about all the people I know.  And the things I seen and done..."
Aibileen voice over at the end of the motion picture The Help

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

A Small Christmastime

Sometimes I just get tired...really tired.  You know that bone aching, brain fogging tiredness that a morning, noon, and night coffee addiction cannot even begin to touch.  I’m in that place right now and it does not balance well with what season the calendar tells me we’re in.  Bleh.  

Ever been there?

This year it’s for some very simple reasons.  My life is in transition.  Saying good-bye to what was, and saying hello to God only knows...

When my children transition from one stage to the next, I know it’s happening because they sleep more, eat more, cuddle more, and are more sensitive than normal.  I call it a growth spurt and I celebrate it because I know there is a blooming right around the corner.  I curl up with them and snuggle just a little bit longer because they need their energy and strength to burst into the next stage of their life. 

But when I hit these transitions I do not give myself this sort of graceful living.  I call myself lazy when I need more sleep.  I call myself sloth when I need more food.  I call myself needy when I desire more affection, and I call myself crazy when I’m more sensitive to the harshness in life.

Ever been there?

How in the world do I balance this with the Christmas season?  One day at a time I guess...


Who says Christmastime needs to be so full?  God with us is all the fullness needed.

Who commanded I be at the top of my game so that peace, love, and joy can come in?  Nothing needs earning, these things are offered freely.

Who says perfection is the goal?  I think brokenness is what makes us human...and God chose to be human for a this humanity thing must be important.

I have no idea what I want this season to be like.

Ever been there?

I know I want my children close.  I know I want less rush and more silence.  I know I want celebration...but a quiet one.  I want a small Christmastime.

Ever been there?

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

A Helpful Conversation...

...around the issue of privacy vs. national security.

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Monday, December 16, 2013

Transcendance Movement Three- Stopped for a Moment

question-the bridge from despair to hope

Stopped for a moment

Stopped for a moment- a quick breath.
Was my soul still intact?
Could I continue to squeak by on loan 
or would my truth be made known?

Running to stay with the pack
looking for spiritual nourishment of life.
All while, thrust into a vortex of lies
there told run harder, push harder, make more time.

Robbed of energy soul on the line 
I sit and look around to see brokenness
Forced to look up where your tears fall on my brow

telling me to just let Your rain fall.

Friday, December 13, 2013


edited using Rhonna's Designs app

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Let's just pretend...

...that I'm a good blogger that announces when I'm gonna be silent for a week, or a month, or a year... happens...
...when I'm wise, I stop to live it...
...this blog goes on even still...

...I hope you had a wonderful holiday last week...